I don’t want to do this out of some trite reason like a New Year’s resolution, but beginning with #JusJoJan, I would like to pledge to start writing more.
Like all writers, I suffer from a low self-esteem concerning my writing. I don’t want people to read what I’ve written and think to themselves how pointless or horrible it was. I’m going to do my best to get over that.
With the current course I’m taking towards my Masters in English and Creative Writing, called The Editor, I am learning not only how to self-edit my work but how to write better. Not too many of my courses covered actually writing. We learned more about the history of other people writing. I want to get INTO the writing.
So what’s stopping me? School, kids, family, and other priorities take my time first. At this point, I need to just tell everyone in my life that I need to buckle down and get going. Even if it’s blog posts to begin with, culminating into a novel, we all have to start somewhere.
So it begins…
It’s been some time since I wrote about my time when I was working. Perhaps it’s because it upsets me. Life never really goes as planned, does it. Rhetorical question, of course. Everyone already knows the answer. Even Cinderella didn’t have her life go the way she thought it was going to. Here Daddy married a new lady with two daughters and you think it’s all going to turn out wonderfully. You’ll have a new mom and something you’ve never had before: sisters. But instead, Daddy dies and leaves you with a cold hearted woman who only notices you when you aren’t doing the chores around the house that used to be yours and the “sisters” that you now have boss you around night and day like a servant. Hardly the preconceived ending she had planned.
Well, like Cinderella, my life didn’t go according to plan either. I was now out of the Air Force but luckily I was just moving in with my, then boyfriend, now husband, Mark. He was still in the military and supported me for a short time until I got a job working at a local Borders. I still had my clearance so I wanted to look into getting a better paying job in the Intelligence community near DC.
Soon after being hired at Borders, I found out that the military had out a code on my discharge paperwork that essentially disrupted my clearance from being effective and therefore made me essentially unable to be hired. For the record, the people at my old unit are a bunch of asshats.
I worked with a few companies and spoke with so many people to see if anyone was willing to reinvestigate my clearance but no one was willing…until about a year later. CACI worked with me and fixed my clearance so I was able to work again with classified material. In July 2008, I accepted a position to work at the National Ground Intelligence Agency as a Technical Trainer.
I liked the job well enough although it wasn’t quite like what I had done in the military. I was training both civilian and military members on software they would be using while deployed and I did a bit of traveling once a month to do so. It was rewarding and interesting but the daily commute of an hour and a half was already starting to get old after three months.
In September 2008, I participated in a Virginia Blood Services blood donation on a Friday afternoon and felt under the weather most of the weekend. By Monday morning, I wasn’t able to get out of bed. I was exhausted. I could barely move and the only time I got out of bed was to use
. I was like that all week. I had no explanation for it and was seriously concerned. My husband (boyfriend) yelled at me to get out of bed because I was just being lazy, but that wasn’t it! It was a physical exhaustion and fatigue like I’d never known before; not even when I was pregnant.