In an attempt to improve myself, both as a person and in the realm of mental heath (which affects my physical health), I am taking a vow and making an effort, for lack of better words, to “Let it Go.” Now, while my previous life mantra had been “Let it BE,” I can no longer sit idly by while I internally injure myself. It’s not healthy.
For my entire life, I have worked with the theory that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all. Sure, that’s great, for other people, but how does it help me? It doesn’t. By not stating my feelings, I end up internalizing so much of it, that the stress and anger turn inward and it becomes unhealthy. This was how I handled bullying, anger, stress, or conflict of any kind. I would avoid conflict as much as possible, but trying to go through life by hiding from conflict is impossible. Turning the other cheek doesn’t always work. One cannot always put up with getting crapped on by others.
I was bullied by the “mean girls” in the grade ahead of me; I was verbally and emotionally abused by my High School field hockey and softball coach; I was sexually taken advantage of many times throughout my life; I served in the military, where one cannot simply drop a witty retort or show any sign of subordination when being bossed around, even by idiots; I have been lied to and cheated on by a spouse; I have put up with more than my share of stress and anger due to my current spouse’s ex-wife. I have quite piled-up amount of anger inside, and it’s time for it to come out.
Now, how will this be accomplished? By writing, of course. While therapeutic, writing about everything gives me practice on what I want to do most in life: Become a writer. So, I’ll do both. Release the built-up anger, frustration and stress by intelligently speaking my mind and writing at the same time. Many therapists recommend keeping a journal for just this reason: when you get it down on paper, it’s beneficial to your mental health.
So, over the next several days to weeks, I’ll be discussing several of the aforementioned topics, by writing about them. Some already planned posts include: Religion and Politics on Social Media; Improve Your Children, Improve the World; Open Letters to the following–my rapists, the mean girls, and my coach.
I hope you enjoy the ride with me.