The enemy within….By The Burned Hande
When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm. I want you to think about that for a moment. It has taken me two days to process the death of Robin Williams for many reasons. Being happy all the time takes a lot of work if your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes. I noticed that about him some time ago, but thought he had control of his demons. I feel like we have failed him in some way. But this isn’t about him entirely. It’s about us. All of us.
You ask your friend how they are doing, and they reply with their usual “I’m fine”, but you see they are not. What do you do? Dig deeper. Make sure they are okay? Reach out. Have the discussion. The one no one wants to admit they need to have with their friend. Yes, have it. Stop being scared. The truth is, if you think you need to talk about it, you probably do. The enemy is already within. It’s time to draw it out into the light.
When you voice these fears, when you let people know, hey, sometimes, I’m not really okay. I’m DEPRESSED. There I said it. I look okay on the outside, but at some point, when I wasn’t paying attention, after 16 years or so of fighting it back, it crept in. I allowed it to come in. I know when it happened. I know why it happened. I even know the day I realized what triggered it. It is fueled by pain. My pain. But that doesn’t mean I can’t force it back. I can and I will.
This is what we have to do for our friends. We have to say, hey, I get this. We have to be honest with ourselves and not pretend you don’t see it in their eyes. Because you do. You know you do. I have had several VERY open conversations lately about triggers for people. This lets your friends know you see it and acknowledge their fight. Do they need back up? Reinforcements?? The cavalry??? A FLAME THROWER to beat back the darkness???? A can of whoop ass perhaps? Whatever you need, let me know. We are in this together.
Sacrifice: the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone.
If you do one thing, one thing, it’s listen to this. Really take it in.